往回看2013，这一年真的让我学了很多人生智慧，有起有落，有喜有悲，应该每个人都是一样的吧.....=)

MOVE FORWARD （向前走）
看似简单的两个字，却有着非凡的意义，
人都不应该活在过去，应该向前看，
伤过，痛过，哭过，就该忘了它，
重新站起来..
每个人的痛都不同，因为经过的都不同，
but God love you and He know you even before you born...
All the test that come towards you is the test that you can handle,
可能你会说你都不知我经过什么，你哪知道。
但：
13 No temptation[a] has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted[b] beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,[c] he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

1 Corinthians 10:13
New International Version (NIV)

test are meant to mould us strong not to bring us down. =)
就好像塞翁失马，焉知非福..
倘若你执著于过去，你哪能意识到潜藏在你前方的机会呢？
所以，无论如何都必须挺起胸膛向前走。因为，美好的人生就在前方等着你。

说是简单，做起来谈何容易呢？（这是你心中想着的问题吗？）
没人说每件事都会简单啊，对吧？
we have to leave behind all the hurts that other people brings into our life and all the unhappy moment we go through and march on so that we will receive a better blessing.....=)))

CHANGE （改变）
For me, life full of suspense.. we wouldn't know what lies in front of us, we wouldn't get to predict what we will experience tomorrow, what we can do is only live the fullest of today and treat everyday as the last day of our life.
Procrastination is one of the most common things that people face, we always tend to think that we still got a lot of time, so we drag drag drag until last minute only willing to rush and finish it......
Because this bad attitude, things change in my life, im glad and thankful that God lead me to the way where He want me to move and grow.
当我以为我的光明前途就将消失时，God opens a door for me, i thought it will just a normal way that i force to pursue due to i have no other choice.
But the ways God work in my life really amazing,
i used to hate Medic subject, i used to close my ears when people tell me about Medic, but guess what,
because of my failure in government test, God leads me to a Medic uni, and im currently re-taking foundation and will move on my next stage to become a Doctor.....
until now, i still cant really believe that i make this decision, but i believe that there is unlimited brightness waiting for me ahead..=)

Really Thank God.......=))))))

Disappointment

Things been changing lately, most of the thing that i familiar with have became weird, things that not used to with have ald become familiar..

This is how world go huh? 

The things that used to believe in, used to feel comfortable in juz couldn't remain at the same condition...

Laziness always a friend of mine lately, procrastinate also join in our bro-mance party, addicted to series in this particular time is juz a so wrong decision. seeing hardworking far a away from me is kinda guilty and sad, but things juz aint work right. Seeing the one that i use to hang out with been happily departing from hometown to pursue their dream with degree course, its always a terrible scenery that draws the fire of guilt in me to burn stronger. Spending the parents hard earn money, retaking a lower grade, 'steady-ing' around like everything okay, just somehow disgust the inner me. 

向后退的我，

在原地徘徊的我，

窝囊的我，

真的，真的， 真的，

想................

想把不好的一些，

一层，一层的，拨开.....

看见同伴们个个迈向康庄大道，

真的为他们感到骄傲， 也为自己感到羞耻。

真的不知该如何。。如何形容自己，

有时，真的担心自己会永远在原地踏步， 永远都停留在这里..

惭愧，自责，愤怒，

在这时候都涌向脑海。

好想让耳光叫醒我。。。

对自己真的感到好失望..............=((((((((((

堕马

今天的我终于堕马了，堕得好伤好伤....

过去的每一天，我总是骑着黑马在人群中傲游着，
大家眼中的我总是那么的优秀，那么的出众，
站在高处的我，脑子里没有一丝的畏惧，也没一丝的安全感，
心里担心会让对我抱着期望的人失望，担心我没达到所谓的标准，
担心众人对我的眼光，担心众人对我的看法，担心着好多好多.....
也因如此我越做越卖力，越爬越高，几乎忘自己对高的畏惧。

做错了选择，走错了路，
使我深深体会了什么是痛，什么是彻底的失望，
辜负了身边的每一个人，那种痛是如此的难受，如此的难以形容，
他们的问候，关心，安慰，都让我难以释怀.....
每一句“没关系”都深深地在心里割了一刀又一刀.......
说真的，我其实真的没那么优秀， 我真的没那么出众，
非常抱歉，
让你们失望，让你们担心，让你们失落，让你们伤心，让你们但忧。

久违的，不属于我的它，终于落下。
心里的难受随着它释放。

深呼吸了一口气，
（吸.............. 呼.................）

。。家。。

家，
是避风港，使安乐窝，
在家，
能做想做的事，能说心里话。
总的来说，
驾驶最幸福，舒服的地方。

叛逆，
是你在说话吗？
是你在改变家在我心中的含义吗？
幼稚，
你来看我吗？
你是来否定我对家的看法吗？

为何现在的我会对家有着不同的理解呢？
常听别人说：“金窝银窝都比不上自己的窝..”
事实真是如此吗？

在外的我能潇洒地做我自己，
在家确事事提防，浑生不自在。
是叛逆时期的症兆，
还是性格倔犟推使自己，
推使自己不向‘监视器’低头？

心中杂念常把睡意夺走，
烦乱的思绪常把自己憋得喘不过气，
这真的是我熟悉的自己吗？

家对我而言已不再深藏着非凡意义.....

可能有一天当我跌了，痛了，懊了，
才会想起，回忆起，
当年家对我的意义。

Home is something so precious, so meaningful in everyone heart....
for me, it no longer carry the same meaning like what i had last time.
Maybe most of the people will tell me that if i far from home one day, i will realize that i'm wrong,
But now, this is really what i feel....

相信
对他
是疑惑，悲痛

心中的需要曾几何时
被理解，关心？
冷嘲热讽
疑心慎重的眼神言语
就如尖刃的刀剑刺进心灵
破碎声，凄喊声，痛楚声
似永播不完的音韵
重播着，弹奏着，在耳边徘徊着

落魄的灵魂
沉重的脚步
干枯的血脉
肉体仿佛就似个空壳
这已不陌生
血流不止的心灵
何时有慰籍？

别人暗地理的举止
常被称为伟大的标签
成功的象征
但
这背后却体现了它的无知
他的不成熟
他的懦弱

解不开的疑惑
无望
将心打成死结
死结将灵魂驱赶
给与其自由
给与其自在
人生光景
仍有价值？

Trust..

可知何谓隐私， 可晓何谓相信，
无关方的冷嘲热讽，并没任何影响。

外人的言语可当真？多年来的同窗比不起外人所听信，申述的不是？
为何？
这是种保护，是关心的代表吗？

简单的要求有如此难做到吗？
需要的只是信任，了解......

算了，倘若这是您的沟通方式， 我只能接受吧...

心窗已毕，一切听天由命吧..

trust is so easy yet so hard to give/ get from someone...=)